I know, I know I keep dissappearing on you! :(

Hey everyone,

 I know, I know I keep disappearing. I really am sorry. I have had so much going one. I am Officially 21 and life has been SUPER crazy. I have yet again moved out and then back in with my mom. Trying to get situated and figure out what I wanna do and how I'm gonna do it. I know i need to get a job here soon. I am single again and honestly think I'm gonna be for a while. To much drama right now. I know when the time is right I will be with who i am meant to. but anyway i came back to ask for all the prayers i can get because honestly i am so at a loss right now...I feel like my world is crumbling down around me and i don't know how to fix it or where to start at the moment. I just know that honestly...i don't know what i am doing anymore. So please keep me in your prays cuz lord knows i need them. I know many of you have probably stopped reading my blog because its always so few and far between but if anyone IS still reading thank you for staying by my side. i need it.Well i am gonna go for now. If you have any questions please feel free to leave a comment or shoot me a message. :) 

Good night and God Bless 

~Alisa

Awesome Lake Week!

Hey Everyone,

It's Alisa again. Sorry I have not posted in the last couple of day's. I was staying with a friend of mine at their mom's house helping out because she was not feeling good. It was an amazing week though, I got to be by a lake so it was a beautiful view and It was so peaceful and quiet there. I really wish i had taken pictures so that i could post.

I will make sure to next time i go though. I also got to be with someone very close to my heart. My bestie love. We have been friends for 5 or 6 years now and He means the world to me. God comes first of course and then my family then it is him.

He is one of the closest people to me and has helped me A LOT along the way. I am so blessed and thankful to the lord for giving me this amazing friendship and the love we share between us. I can not even express how thankful i am to God for bringing this amazing man into my life and I would do it all over again even all the bumps along the way. It was so refreshing and fun to be out there by the water even though the upstairs inside of the house was hotter then a Sonja on the sun. LOL  I am now home and relaxed and my mind is clear for the first time in a while.

I cant wait to go back. Now that i am back in the real world though I have things to tend to. I received my tax returns finally and have ordered my bestie loves birthday presents today. Tomorrow I will be going to get my phone turned back on and probably to game stop to get a new power cord for the X-box so i can borrow the game that i have been wanting to finish. after that I will also be going to get my contacts hopefully if everything goes well.

And I am also hoping to find a job so if y'all would please pray for that. I mean if push comes to shove and i have to i will be talking to the General Manager at Cracker Barrel and seeing about getting my job back there but i am kinda wanting to start over somewhere new. so fingers crossed and prayers are going out like crazy.

This is not a picture of the lake i was at but its the closest i found. It was amazing and quiet I loved it! :)

I will post again soon till then

God Bless
~Alisa

A Woman's Heart

Hey Guys,

 Alisa here! I hope everyone is having a good day today. :) I told you yesterday that I was going to start posting more often so here I am. Yesterday was a very big realization day for me. Not only did i get back into the swing of things on here but i also started reading the bible again and talking to God. We talked for HOURS.

I will go ahead and give you an example I think you will all enjoy hearing about. You all remember my post yesterday talking about how, After everything i had done to stray so far away from him so many times i did not feel worthy of his never ending love for me. Well not shortly after that post I added a daily bible verse app to my Facebook account and the first one shocked me. It pretty much told me that no matter what has happened in my past i have to let it go and move forward because regardless of anything i do there is nothing so bad or to big that the lord can not forgive me and that no matter what he will always love me endlessly. It really touched my heart and had me almost in tears.

As the day progressed i was in such awe at how God had lead me back to him when he knew it was time for me to be. I had made a post a year ago that someone had just recently commented on in maybe early to mid April and thanks to her prayer for my father to help me find him and stick close i am now right back here. :) Now the title of this post is "A Woman's Heart" because i came across a quote that I have loved since i first saw it. and that saying is "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek him just to find her". Now I have been having a hard time with a break up that happened almost 2 years ago. It has taken its tole on me and soon started to control my life.

I love this man with all my heart and that was my problem. i was giving him my heart instead of giving it to God and because of that the devil was able to go from there and send my life (literally) Into a never ending tail spin. Every day that went by it seemed that something else was going wrong. I was stressed all the time, I was always crying and in pain, I lost MANY nights of sleep. I even helped this man to hurt a number of girls who I did not know. I just did not like them for the mere fact that they were with him and they were not me.

I now see how selfish and wrong it was and i know that God was really disappointed in me. He tried many times to call to me to bring me home but like a little kid in a candy store I threw a fit and ran around doing as i pleased anyway. In the end I just kept getting burned. It did not just happen once but many times (i know you would think i would have learned right?) but i didn't and my life just kept spinning out of control. Every time i tried to get my life back together the devil knew i still had weakness for this man so he always brought him back. which just started the nasty cycle all over again. Yes I love the man but have decided that it is time to start doing it the way god has always wanted me to. I am giving my heart to the lord. I'm going to start focusing on him first then my schooling (BTW i am going to be finishing up my GED at home since i cant seem to keep up with the GED program I always end up quitting when I'm almost done.) And then after my school is done i will be working on getting a job. though i might try both. Only God knows what he wants for me and I will be obeying him now. Everything falls apart when you don't have the only one who knows how to hold you together.

God is my strength and My life. My heart belongs to him and when the time is right he will bring me to the man that is worthy of it. The only perfect timing there ever is is that of God. He never makes mistakes and he is always right on time.

Well i am going to leave y'all to ponder that little bit of information i just gave you. I ask that you all please pray for me and my family as we go through some difficult times right now. Thank you all for being so loyal and patient with me :)

May God Bless All of you in the way you need him to. <3 p="">
~Alisa

P.S. Little fun and random fact about me is that I love Zebra Cakes and Star Crunch. :)

Hey everybody. I really suck at keeping up with this thing don't I lol. I have been super busy but that is no excuse for not keeping up like I should be. I guess the old saying is true. Rome was not built in a day. I have learned that from all the times that I have strayed from my intended path with the lord. I have taken many wrong turns and have ended up in many different places in my life. More so recently then when I was younger though. I honestly do not feel worthy of his love for some of the things I have done. I have let him down but I know that all I can do is pray and ask forgiveness for the sins I have committed against him. He has given me many blessings even though I do not deserve them and I thank him for them. He is the only way and he is my shelter from the storm. Things have changed a lot in the year since I have posted last. I know with God's help I will be shaped into the woman my heavenly father wants me to be. "He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense and fortress,I shall not be moved" Psalm 62:6 I will be writing more often I am going to make a schedual and everyday I will be posting if not then every other day. I will be posting more often now. God bless ~Alisa P.S. If ya'll would please pray for me that would be amazing and I would really appreciate it. I could use all the prayers I can get after everything that had gone on thank you so much.

Long Time No See.

Heyy everyone it has been a LONG time since I posted last and I do apologize for that. I have strayed MUCH further from my loving heavenly father then I ever expected to. Things have gotten so tough and i have realized that after ALOT of disappointments that the reason that everything has been so messed up is because I do not walk beside my father anymore. I have been so preoccupied with getting ahead and thinking that i know what im doing and where im going that i lost him somewhere miles back. but I am working really hard on getting back to him. He is the only one who knows where im going right now. Its almost like when your parents take you out for your birthday when your younger but they want it to be a surprise so they dont tell you. You just have to trust that they know what they are doing and let them take you were they want you to go. You cant have control over everything all the time and Im just now starting to realize that. My life isnt anything like I want it to be right now and im working on changing that for the better and the only way to do that is to follow my father where ever he leads me. He would never walk me through anything that i can not handle. Sometimes I wonder if him having so much faith in ME is a good thing or not but then i remember that he knows what he is doing then i do. I love him very much and have been a complete wreck without him. He will always lead you down the right path but only if you are wise enough to let him. God gave us free will so he cant MAKE us do anything that we dont want to do. He gave us the option weather we wanted to follow or not. God loves all of his children and ONLY wants whats best for us. Show your love for him and your gratitude by choosing the right path and letting him lead you were your going. If you follow him he will NEVER stear you wrong. I guess thats it for now. Ill be doing my best to post more often now. and remember keep god in your heart and follow him and you will never go wrong. :) Have a nice night and God Bless. ~Alisa

Help

Well Wow its been a REALLY long time since I was on here last.....there has been so much going on....I have found a guy that i cant stop thinkin of and we got together and then we broke up and i still think about him and about how i want him back so bad....I fell in love with him.I can feel it....its so hard to explain its like something i just know.I also know that i have strayed WAY to far from the lord and have been having alot of trouble finding my way back to him. Every time i think im close something happens and i feel like im being drug back down and in the opposite direction. I have been trying to fight these demons that have been following me. but its just so hard. I dont really have many people to talk to to help me find my way back.and i know i cant do it on my own. I just want my life to be ok again. it just feels like i have been being taken around my butt to get to my elbow to get back to him. I feel like im haveing to walk through the depths of hell just to get to him and its driving me to a point of insanity. I need him but cant seem to find where he is knocking at. I feel like im lost in a dark maze. Can anyone tell me how i can fix this? please

GOOD NEWS!!!!!!

I got my Job at Cracker Barrel Old Country Store. I am a server. I JUST finished my training today and Get to find out when I have to go back. Then I will be on the floor by myself. So Happy. Its soo much fun and I love doing it. I actually made my first tip from a guy that I served today with my trainer he left the tip on the table then came back and gave me one. so it was amazing. I cant wait to go back the people are amazing and nice. I am Gonna love it there. So EXCITED. Wish me luck everyone ill try to keep you up to date but I might be having my hands full what with the job and The fact that im still in school its gonna be kinda hard to get back to you. as often as I would like to but I will do my best. Please bear with me. I love you guys and Thanks for sticking with me this long. :)

God Bless

~Alisa

Good News!!!

Hey Everyone,

I have some Awesome boyfriend and I just got a job. I start on the 11th of This month coming.I am going to be a server at Cracker Barrel Old country store. I'm so Excited. My Boyfriend is working at A Publix so we both have a job which is good :) I Cant wait to start working. I gotta get all the necessary Stuff for my uniform and then I can go in and start. So excited :) I thank God so much for such a blessing.He is my Strength and I couldn't do anything without him. Im so glad to have him in my life now.

God Bless
~Alisa

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

Hey everyone Hope your easter is going awesome I know mine is. I went to church this morning and the service was amazing. Then I came home and there was a guy here tht my uncle knows His name is Andrew I was to Scared to ask his last name or for his number but oh well If its ment to be He will be brought around again. After he left my mom and I went walking and Got some exercise and had a long Needed talk. Everything has been falling apart recently and It started to look up today So i am very greatful for that. I love God so much. and I thank him for everything he has done for me. I rededicated my life to him today during church and I am going to try to follow him to were he wants me. I dont want to lose my way but I know im gonna fall. I also know that If i put my trust in him he is always gonna help me stand up and brush myself off. :)

Please Keep me in your prayers.

God Bless

~Alisa

Cbox Visitors

Hey everyone. I am so glad you have all been keep up and praying for me. I really appreciate all the cool comments about my blog. If you would want me to look at yours Please leave ma a comment either in the cbox or on one of my Post with the link to get to your blog. I would love to follow and look at everyone's blog. thank you all for your awesome support. As for me. Well I am really excited about Monday night. This amazing guy has offered to take me and my Parents out to dinner. He offered to pay and everything. I really like him but i don't know if he likes me or not He is kinda one of those guys that's really hard to figure out. I can normally read people pretty well and i just cant read him like i can everyone else. Its really actually kinda frustrating. I am really interested in finding out why God brought this amazing guy into my life. I know its for a reason. I just don't know how to tell if he likes me. Oh well I guess we will find out on Monday :) wish me luck :P But back to the original Reason I posted this. Again I ask that anyone who wants me to take a look and follow their blog please leave the link to get to it and I would be more then happy too :)

God Bless You All

~Alisa

Heyy

Hey everyone, Its been forever since I posted last. Since then alot more has happened. I'm still going to school and am currently looking for a job. Also On the agenda of my life Me and my Boyfriend...."Fiance'" Of a little over 2 years broke up for good this past week, I haven't cried at all. I know that God does all things for a reason and that if he broke us up that means there is just something so much better around the corner. Although I am a little flustered with This guy i was dating because he stole somethings from me when we broke up and wont give them back. I am working on a way to get it all back. I will be honest. I have my sights set on an amazing guy. He is a total sweet heart and he treats me amazing. He is a really good friend of mine and I am starting to like him more. I dont know what I would do without him. I am praying that God will help me and keep his hand on my shoulder and Lead me down the path I need to go down. All I want is to make God Proud. I love him very deeply. With God all things are possible and I know that he wouldnt give me any more then i could handle. I need to start posting more. and i will be working hard to do so. I have been having some writers block recently but i think thats over for a while anyway. Thank you to all of you who have been here even though ive been a horrible blogger,

I love you guys so much
If you have any suggestions on what i should do or question on anything or just wanna talk send me a message I love talking and helping people.

God Bless All

~Alisa

Heyy

Hey everyone Im back. Its been soo crazy around here, I have been feeling bad the last couple of days but I went to the beach today and I felt soo much better. I have also come to a new understanding of my relationship with God. I wish to follow him in whatever way he is leading me. God is My protecter and I love him. I feel like he is leading me in this direction for a specific reason and I entend to follow no matter what. I know that he would never lead me into anything that I would not be able to handle. I trust him to lead me through this and to help me understand the meaning behind it. :)

God Bless

~Alisa

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so I know that i have been really horrable at posting this last couple of months. But I have had alot going on. I have had some not so good drama going on. But I want to start this post off with some AWESOME news. I think you will all be happy to hear that everything with me and CJ (My wonderful Boyfriend) Have FINALLY worked things out. He had gone to mississippi and we had some problems when that happend but we worked through it and are now very happily ENGAGED !!!!!!! I am soo happy now. I love him with all of my heart and wouldnt trade him for anything in this world. I have been going through alot of other things as well. Please bear with me as I am also trying to find a job and finish my schooling. I will be trying to post more often.
I will post more later today after I have had a chance to spend time with my wonderful boyfriend. I love him so much. and I also love you guys for putting up with my sucky blogging keep up.

Love you all

Ill keep you updated.

God Bless God Bless

~ Alisa

Update.

Hey everyone. Just thought i would give y'all an update. I got my tonsils out yesterday I'm still in pain. My Bf was there even though we had a Huge fight the night before, The first thing he said when he came in the room was "I may be a douche I maybe anything else in the whole world but I'm not gonna leave you here alone to be scared" lol So that made me happy that he was there. He actually told me he started crying because I looked so helpless and weak and tired. He had never seen me like that before and Not been able to do anything about it. I told him that "ya never know it maybe a blessing in disguise Maybe its god telling us that there is more important things going on right now that we need to be focusing on." that's my opinion on it i mean i may be wrong but that's just what i think. Well I am taking meds for the pain but i cant have Ice cream till friday. Only ice pops and Jello and some luke warm and cold soft things

I will be keeping y'all posted.
I love you all

God bless
~Alisa

Back again

Hey everyone. I first wanted to thank you all for your prayers and thank you for sticking by my side even though I have been a HORRIBLE blogger for a while now. I kinda strayed from my path these last couple of months which is why I haven't been on and blogging like I used to. I am getting back to were I was before now. and I'm very happy to see that you guys haven't forgotten or given up on me. I also wanted to ask for you guys to do some more praying for me. I am Currently looking for a job and haven't had any luck yet. I'm not stressing about it because I know that with Gods guidance and love I will end up in the place that I'm meant to be. I am very happy to be back I have missed you guys so much. And again I am very thankful and touched that you have all stayed and prayed (Rhyme Not intentional LOL) for me even when I wasn't present to appreciate them. Thank you all so much. I love you all. Other then that everything has been crazy around here I took my practice GED and past everything BUT my math. Which sucked. I was so upset. So I'm still in the classes doing the math on my own..(Witch I don't understand what the point in going to the class to do something I can do at home But oh well) I lost a good friend to me earlier these last couple of months and he hasn't spoken to me and when I tried to make contact with him he sent his girlfriend to tell me he didn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't know what to do with that. My birthday Is coming up quick and I will officially be 18. On top of that Me and My boyfriend will be together for 2 years as of January 19Th so That's REALLY exciting. Lol Well enough about my life lol how have you all been? Again I'm sorry for being Such an awful blogger.

I love you all

God Bless
~Alisa

Back for an update

Hey everyone i know i aint wrote in a while but just been sooo busy. good news though. me and cj got back togeather and im so happy im on my last 2 days of my ged class hopefully. i cant wait to finish. planning on going to collage afterwards still not sure. whatever god has in store for me is what i will do. please keep me in your prayers thank you all for following me even though im such a horrable blogger lol. I love you all.

Hey

Hey everyone I kno I aint wrote in a while Im starting to get really bad about that now. But anyway Everything is getting better over here and its been really busy. Im going to try to write more often cuz i miss you all so much. please keep me in your prayers. I love you all thats all i can post for now. Be back as soon as I can be lol

Love you all

~Alisa

Check it out

hey guys Check out the new blog dat I set up. Its called Poems by Bella and Tabby. Long story but go check them out and let me know what u think. I wrote them all. Nd would love ur opinion of them just go here http://tabbybellapoems.blogspot.com/ and please follow and comment. will be posting more poems soon

Check it out!

Hey guys Check out my latest blog. Its just were I post poems that I have written. I will post new ones as they come. Let me know what you think. Thanks 4 that support

Love yall

~Alisa

This is the link
http://bellatabbypoems.blogspot.com/

Hope you enjoy them.

And Ka Bloom

Well Last Night couldnt have gone any better. Me and CJ are offically Broken up and there is no chance of us gettin back togeather, I guess this is what God wanted but I had 2 of my best friends here to help me through it though it is still hard Its getting easier. I dont know where I would be without them. I know I havent really had the chance to get on here and all but I am tring to keep you all as up to date as possible but its kinda hard to find a computer to use right now. Im over here at my besties house hangin with her and Waiting for my friend mark to txt me back I dont know what to do anymore. I love haveing such great friends I love you all

Be back as soon as possible

All my Love and God bless

~Alisa