Help

Well Wow its been a REALLY long time since I was on here last.....there has been so much going on....I have found a guy that i cant stop thinkin of and we got together and then we broke up and i still think about him and about how i want him back so bad....I fell in love with him.I can feel it....its so hard to explain its like something i just know.I also know that i have strayed WAY to far from the lord and have been having alot of trouble finding my way back to him. Every time i think im close something happens and i feel like im being drug back down and in the opposite direction. I have been trying to fight these demons that have been following me. but its just so hard. I dont really have many people to talk to to help me find my way back.and i know i cant do it on my own. I just want my life to be ok again. it just feels like i have been being taken around my butt to get to my elbow to get back to him. I feel like im haveing to walk through the depths of hell just to get to him and its driving me to a point of insanity. I need him but cant seem to find where he is knocking at. I feel like im lost in a dark maze. Can anyone tell me how i can fix this? please