Alisa here! I hope everyone is having a good day today. :) I told you yesterday that I was going to start posting more often so here I am. Yesterday was a very big realization day for me. Not only did i get back into the swing of things on here but i also started reading the bible again and talking to God. We talked for HOURS.
I will go ahead and give you an example I think you will all enjoy hearing about. You all remember my post yesterday talking about how, After everything i had done to stray so far away from him so many times i did not feel worthy of his never ending love for me. Well not shortly after that post I added a daily bible verse app to my Facebook account and the first one shocked me. It pretty much told me that no matter what has happened in my past i have to let it go and move forward because regardless of anything i do there is nothing so bad or to big that the lord can not forgive me and that no matter what he will always love me endlessly. It really touched my heart and had me almost in tears.
As the day progressed i was in such awe at how God had lead me back to him when he knew it was time for me to be. I had made a post a year ago that someone had just recently commented on in maybe early to mid April and thanks to her prayer for my father to help me find him and stick close i am now right back here. :) Now the title of this post is "A Woman's Heart" because i came across a quote that I have loved since i first saw it. and that saying is "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek him just to find her". Now I have been having a hard time with a break up that happened almost 2 years ago. It has taken its tole on me and soon started to control my life.
I love this man with all my heart and that was my problem. i was giving him my heart instead of giving it to God and because of that the devil was able to go from there and send my life (literally) Into a never ending tail spin. Every day that went by it seemed that something else was going wrong. I was stressed all the time, I was always crying and in pain, I lost MANY nights of sleep. I even helped this man to hurt a number of girls who I did not know. I just did not like them for the mere fact that they were with him and they were not me.
I now see how selfish and wrong it was and i know that God was really disappointed in me. He tried many times to call to me to bring me home but like a little kid in a candy store I threw a fit and ran around doing as i pleased anyway. In the end I just kept getting burned. It did not just happen once but many times (i know you would think i would have learned right?) but i didn't and my life just kept spinning out of control. Every time i tried to get my life back together the devil knew i still had weakness for this man so he always brought him back. which just started the nasty cycle all over again. Yes I love the man but have decided that it is time to start doing it the way god has always wanted me to. I am giving my heart to the lord. I'm going to start focusing on him first then my schooling (BTW i am going to be finishing up my GED at home since i cant seem to keep up with the GED program I always end up quitting when I'm almost done.) And then after my school is done i will be working on getting a job. though i might try both. Only God knows what he wants for me and I will be obeying him now. Everything falls apart when you don't have the only one who knows how to hold you together.
God is my strength and My life. My heart belongs to him and when the time is right he will bring me to the man that is worthy of it. The only perfect timing there ever is is that of God. He never makes mistakes and he is always right on time.
Well i am going to leave y'all to ponder that little bit of information i just gave you. I ask that you all please pray for me and my family as we go through some difficult times right now. Thank you all for being so loyal and patient with me :)
May God Bless All of you in the way you need him to. <3 p="">
~Alisa
P.S. Little fun and random fact about me is that I love Zebra Cakes and Star Crunch. :)
